Jub-Jub the Demon Cat

Introducing Jubjub, Spawn of Satin!

Jubjub, my boyfriend's demon cat sitting on my computer case with my wireless mouse inside.
She occasionally shifts her body, moving and clicking the mouse and making it difficult to use my computer.

So usually I'm a fairly likable person mostly because I like everyone I meet as a default setting. It really takes a lot for anyone to get onto my naughty list. The only soul that has ever accomplished it is this cat.

I really think we are natural born enemies. My boyfriend says I just have bad judgement in cats but I promise you I have my reasons. I'm going to tell it to you straight and see if you agree.

#1 She Throws Hissy Fits When I'm Around

When I'm sitting in her place on the bed (next to Jordan), hugging Jordan, sitting next to Jordan, talking to Jordan... making eye-contact with Jordan she shows her disapproval by knocking everything over that she can. Glasses, vases, my bags, she almost succeeded in knocking the computer over once. So much jealousy and passive aggression in one so small.

#2 She Won't Let Me Cuddle Her 

She is so fluffy so occasionally I want to put my differences aside and give her a cuddle. She leaves me with nothing but scratches and regrets and gives Jordan all the cuddles he requires.

#3 She Takes All Jordan's Cuddles!

Jealousy goes two ways right?

#4 She Selectively Desecrates My Clothing 

This doesn't seem to happen to anyone's clothing but mine. Sure she used to pee on a lot of stuff when Jordan first bought her but old seem to habits die hard when it comes to me. There is absolutely nothing that says "F. YOU" more than looking someone in the eye as you take a dump on their sock minutes after they have taken it off. I attempted to adapt to her behavior by putting my clothing in a high up place. It worked to a degree but on the odd occasion that I forgot Jubjub was never slack. Most of the time it was only a lovely stinking stain on my jacket or a puddle in my shoe. On one occasion I picked up my bra to find that it had served as a litter box for the Jubster at some point in the night. This earned me the lovely nickname of "Pissy Tits" from Jordan's flatmates. 

#5 She Meows ALL Goddamn Night 

She apparently has immunity to tiredness (might be something to do with the fact that cats are nocturnal but Idonno!) and she uses it relentlessly leaving me and Jordan without sleep. Apparently she only does it when I "sleep" over at the Boyfriends. I suspect it is all a part of her plot to turn Jordan against me and have him all to herself. 

Do not be deceived by her name. She is nothing like the sweet Neopet from our childhoods.

Picture of a Neopet Jubjub, not to be confused with Jubjub the cat.

Approach with caution!